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“The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.” Norman Vincent Peale
We live in a world of strategic plans, key performance indicators, quarterly targets and basically measure everything that is measurable. Tangible, measureable results rule our world.
In this quota-based environment, I have witnessed many leaders fall into the trap of attaching their self-worth, self-esteem and confidence to their results. In other words, when they are achieving expected targets then they judge themselves to be ok, good, competent and successful! However, if they fall short of their targets, the negative self-talk flourishes and may sound like; I’m not good enough, I didn’t do it well enough, I need to work harder, I’m a failure, etc.
These self-directed negative judgments often manifest physically as stress, anxiety, worry and fear in the body. They can lead to ineffective and unhealthy behaviors such as overeating, under-eating, drinking too much, disrupted sleep, and a host of other habits that do not support us to be at our best.
While it is useful to assess progress on results, learn from them, and adjust our behaviors accordingly, it is not useful to punish ourselves in the process. Negative self-judgment does not help you to achieve better results and the personal cost is too high. While fear can be motivating, it is not sustainable in the long-term. The prices we pay emotionally and physically by relentlessly “pushing” ourselves to get results is a recipe for burn-out.
You are not your results. You are a human being with strengths and weaknesses like everyone else trying to navigate the mystery we call “life.” Learning to cultivate a more friendly relationship with yourself will not only feel better, but will help you function from a calmer and more peaceful state of mind. When we calm the mind, we can calm the body. When the mind and body are calm, we will be more effective in our actions, thus creating better results!
I’ll say it again – You are not your results.
You are whole, complete and worthy regardless of your results.